Sobrancelhas espessas
As sobrancelhas. Nunca esquecerei as grandes e espessas sobrancelhas cinzentas.
Juan e eu tínhamos acabado, de alguma forma, no meio de um concurso de olhares não intencional. A conversa chegou a um ponto de repouso não natural logo depois de ele ter dito:
"Rob, acho que vais à falência."
E depois, ficou a olhar para mim.
Em vez de responder, não disse nada. Foi preciso tudo o que tinha, mas comecei a contar na minha cabeça:
… one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand…
E eu limitei-me a olhar para ele.
See, I had a good read on Juan’s personality and had him pegged as a pretty strong Introvert after observing some of his personality type clues. I knew this meant there was a decent chance that he had more to say, but apenas if I created space for him to continue.
...quatro mil, cinco mil, seis mil...
Out of the corner of my eye, I remember seeing my right hand reach out for one of those tasty rolls they serve at Legal Sea Foods in Boston. I noticed the more-than-slight tremble in my fingers. I remember that I felt my body physically start sweating at the four one-thousand mark.
Mas continuei a olhar para aquelas sobrancelhas e mantive a minha voz controlada.
I’d worked too hard to set up this meeting to be thrown off the bucking bronco now. My wife and I had just started our business a few months earlier, and every prospective client could be the difference between success and having to head back to the law firm world with my tail tucked between my legs. Certainly, that’s what a LOT of people thought was likely to happen. How could I have let that whole successful career go, and instead try to sell big companies on the topic of personality type? C’mon Rob, did you REALLY think it was going to work?
Part of the sweat wasn’t just the discomfort of an Extravert (me) working hard to create space for Juan. Part of it was the pressure I felt to make this whole new, unconventional career path work. We needed Juan and a dozen other client conversations to say yes to prove that we had something valuable that people wanted. We’d leveraged our network to get access to Juan, who had gone to the same college my wife and I had attended. There weren’t a lot of those kinds of connections for us to convert.
...sete mil, oito mil, nove mil...
I don’t know what was going through Juan’s mind. I don’t know if he was seeing the sweat form on my brow, if he saw the tremble in my hand, if he noticed that I’d stopped breathing. But, I do know that when my count reached ten one-thousand, he opened his mouth and continued his thought as if nothing had ever happened:
"... a não ser, claro, que concentre os seus esforços sobre as empresas farmacêuticas, e..."
His words barely registered.
Inspirei uma longa lufada de ar o mais silenciosamente possível através dos lábios franzidos e senti o canto da minha boca enrolar-se num leve sorriso. ITinha-me aguentado. Esperei que ele saísse. Nunca seria capaz de esquecer aquelas sobrancelhas, queimadas nos meus olhos durante as horas que passei a olhar para elas.
Welcome to the game. The game of Influence – of spotting the observable personality type clues of others … and then using that information to craft an approach most likely to build rapport, connection, and ultimately convey information in ways the other person is most likely to hear, understand and relate to.
But, even knowing what I knew, it took everything I had to implement the technique. And yet, it clearly worked: Juan had opened up to me and was speaking in a free-flowing and natural way. I’d not filled the awkward silence with nervous chatter. I’d respected his style and the reward was him feeling at ease and sharing insights and ideas with me far beyond what I originally expected.
Personality Type Clues: The Introvert Pause
Desde então, tenho-me sentado em silêncio com os meus Introverts milhares de vezes e foram sempre recompensados. Os introvertidos têm SEMPRE mais para dizer, se deixarmos espaço na conversa para que eles o façam à sua maneira.
The TypeCoach Approach: Reading Personality Type Clues
Se quiser aprender as outras técnicas que ensinamos, reuni os conhecimentos dos últimos 20 anos de formação de vendedores e de outras pessoas que precisam de influenciar as pessoas à sua volta e partilhei-os nesta série de artigos. Os artigos baseiam-se uns nos outros, pelo que recomendo a sua leitura por ordem.
- A regra das 2-48 horas
- Como vs. Porquê
- Relações vs. Lógica
- O espetro de fecho
- Tradicionalistas
- Experienciadores
- Conceptualizadores
- Idealistas
- Cenários - Teste as suas competências
You also might be interested in the Programa de Influência TypeCoach, where you can learn about personality type clues from a TypeCoach certified master coach.
Para aqueles que se perguntam o que aconteceu com o Juan, nós construímos de facto uma parceria de sucesso com a sua equipa de liderança. Uma ou duas semanas depois de termos assinado, eles venderam a empresa e nunca mais trabalhámos juntos. Ah, as alegrias da jornada empresarial.
4 Comments
Great article! For an extrovert, that ‘Introvert Pause’ can be brutal but as you pointed out – well worth it in the end. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for you to have this conversation. I can see all those ‘thought bubbles’ around your head!
So true and so hard to implement as an extrovert but so worth the effort. One of reasons that the TypeCoach experience has such a transformational impact on 1:1 and team effectiveness.
I work with a large auto manufacturing company. As you might guess, there are many introverts attracted to this work and this is born out by the number that know their type. I have learned to count AND to practice box breathing. I was in a meeting with the head of engineering, ISTJ, one level down from the president, presenting information on a program they asked me to design. I asked questions and paused. I let him collect his thoughts. We went from my doing 2 days of training to 11 days! I never saw that coming!
What an awesome story Rob. I was holding my breath right along with you as I was reading. And this is a hard learned lesson for all of us extroverts – I had to learn it early in my career and instinctively saw it even before I got personality type training. And it’s a lesson I keep relearning all the time!