ふさふさ眉毛
眉毛。大きくてふさふさした灰色の眉毛が忘れられない。
フアンと私はどういうわけか、意図せず睨み合いの最中になってしまった。彼がこう言った直後、会話は不自然な休息に入った：
"ロブ、破産するんじゃないか？"
そして、彼はただ私を見つめた。
飛びついて反論するよりも、私は口をつぐんだ。しかし、頭の中で数え始めた：
… one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand…
そして、私はただ彼を見つめ返した。
See, I had a good read on Juan’s personality and had him pegged as a pretty strong Introvert after observing some of his personality type clues. I knew this meant there was a decent chance that he had more to say, but のみ if I created space for him to continue.
...4千、5千、6千...
Out of the corner of my eye, I remember seeing my right hand reach out for one of those tasty rolls they serve at Legal Sea Foods in Boston. I noticed the more-than-slight tremble in my fingers. I remember that I felt my body physically start sweating at the four one-thousand mark.
しかし、私はその眉を見つめ続け、声を抑えた。
I’d worked too hard to set up this meeting to be thrown off the bucking bronco now. My wife and I had just started our business a few months earlier, and every prospective client could be the difference between success and having to head back to the law firm world with my tail tucked between my legs. Certainly, that’s what a LOT of people thought was likely to happen. How could I have let that whole successful career go, and instead try to sell big companies on the topic of personality type? C’mon Rob, did you REALLY think it was going to work?
Part of the sweat wasn’t just the discomfort of an Extravert (me) working hard to create space for Juan. Part of it was the pressure I felt to make this whole new, unconventional career path work. We needed Juan and a dozen other client conversations to say yes to prove that we had something valuable that people wanted. We’d leveraged our network to get access to Juan, who had gone to the same college my wife and I had attended. There weren’t a lot of those kinds of connections for us to convert.
...7千、8千、9千...
I don’t know what was going through Juan’s mind. I don’t know if he was seeing the sweat form on my brow, if he saw the tremble in my hand, if he noticed that I’d stopped breathing. But, I do know that when my count reached ten one-thousand, he opened his mouth and continued his thought as if nothing had ever happened:
「......もちろん、あなたが努力を傾注しない限りは 製薬会社と..."
His words barely registered.
私は唇をすぼめてできるだけ静かに大きく息を吸い込み、口角が上がって微かに笑みを浮かべた。I私はそこで頑張った。私は彼を待ち続けた。あの眉毛を何時間も見つめているうちに、目に焼き付いてしまった。
Welcome to the game. The game of Influence – of spotting the observable personality type clues of others … and then using that information to craft an approach most likely to build rapport, connection, and ultimately convey information in ways the other person is most likely to hear, understand and relate to.
But, even knowing what I knew, it took everything I had to implement the technique. And yet, it clearly worked: Juan had opened up to me and was speaking in a free-flowing and natural way. I’d not filled the awkward silence with nervous chatter. I’d respected his style and the reward was him feeling at ease and sharing insights and ideas with me far beyond what I originally expected.
Personality Type Clues: The Introvert Pause
それ以来、私は内向的な人たちと静かに座っている。 何千回 そしていつも報われてきた。内向的な人は、自分のやり方で話す余地を会話の中に残しておけば、いつでももっと言いたいことがあるものだ。
The TypeCoach Approach: Reading Personality Type Clues
もし、私たちが教えている他のテクニックを学びたいのであれば、私は過去20年にわたり、セールスマンや周囲の人々に影響を与える必要のある人々をトレーニングしてきた経験から得た洞察を、この一連の記事で紹介している。各記事は互いに関連し合っているので、順番に読むことをお勧めする。
- 2-48時間ルール
- 方法と理由
- 人間関係 vs. 論理
- クロージング・スペクトル
- 伝統派
- 経験者
- コンセプチュアライザー
- 理想主義者
- シナリオ - 腕試し
You also might be interested in the タイプコーチ・インフルエンス・プログラム, where you can learn about personality type clues from a TypeCoach certified master coach.
フアンと何があったのか不思議に思っている人のために説明すると、私たちは彼のリーダーシップ・チームと確かに成功したパートナーシップを築いた。私たちが契約した1、2週間後、彼らは会社を売却し、私たちは一緒に仕事をすることはなかった。ああ、起業家の旅の楽しみだ。
4 Comments
Great article! For an extrovert, that ‘Introvert Pause’ can be brutal but as you pointed out – well worth it in the end. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for you to have this conversation. I can see all those ‘thought bubbles’ around your head!
So true and so hard to implement as an extrovert but so worth the effort. One of reasons that the TypeCoach experience has such a transformational impact on 1:1 and team effectiveness.
I work with a large auto manufacturing company. As you might guess, there are many introverts attracted to this work and this is born out by the number that know their type. I have learned to count AND to practice box breathing. I was in a meeting with the head of engineering, ISTJ, one level down from the president, presenting information on a program they asked me to design. I asked questions and paused. I let him collect his thoughts. We went from my doing 2 days of training to 11 days! I never saw that coming!
What an awesome story Rob. I was holding my breath right along with you as I was reading. And this is a hard learned lesson for all of us extroverts – I had to learn it early in my career and instinctively saw it even before I got personality type training. And it’s a lesson I keep relearning all the time!