浓密的眉毛
眉毛我永远忘不了那浓密的灰色大眉毛。
我和胡安不知怎么就陷入了一场无意识的凝视竞赛中。就在他说完这句话后，我们的谈话不自然地停了下来：
"罗伯，我觉得你要破产了"
然后，他就盯着我看。
我没有跳出来回应，而是忍住了。我使出浑身解数，但还是开始在脑子里数数：
… one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand…
而我只是回瞪着他。
See, I had a good read on Juan’s personality and had him pegged as a pretty strong Introvert after observing some of his personality type clues. I knew this meant there was a decent chance that he had more to say, but 只是 if I created space for him to continue.
......四千、五千、六千......
Out of the corner of my eye, I remember seeing my right hand reach out for one of those tasty rolls they serve at Legal Sea Foods in Boston. I noticed the more-than-slight tremble in my fingers. I remember that I felt my body physically start sweating at the four one-thousand mark.
但是，我一直盯着那双眉毛，压抑着自己的声音。
I’d worked too hard to set up this meeting to be thrown off the bucking bronco now. My wife and I had just started our business a few months earlier, and every prospective client could be the difference between success and having to head back to the law firm world with my tail tucked between my legs. Certainly, that’s what a LOT of people thought was likely to happen. How could I have let that whole successful career go, and instead try to sell big companies on the topic of personality type? C’mon Rob, did you REALLY think it was going to work?
Part of the sweat wasn’t just the discomfort of an Extravert (me) working hard to create space for Juan. Part of it was the pressure I felt to make this whole new, unconventional career path work. We needed Juan and a dozen other client conversations to say yes to prove that we had something valuable that people wanted. We’d leveraged our network to get access to Juan, who had gone to the same college my wife and I had attended. There weren’t a lot of those kinds of connections for us to convert.
......七千、八千、九千......
I don’t know what was going through Juan’s mind. I don’t know if he was seeing the sweat form on my brow, if he saw the tremble in my hand, if he noticed that I’d stopped breathing. But, I do know that when my count reached ten one-thousand, he opened his mouth and continued his thought as if nothing had ever happened:
"......当然，除非你集中精力 制药公司，以及......"
His words barely registered.
我紧抿着嘴唇，尽量小声地吸了一口长气，感觉嘴角翘起，露出一丝淡淡的微笑。I我坚持了下来我一直在等他我永远也忘不了那双眉毛 我盯着它们看了好几个小时 它们就像烙印一样印在我的眼睛里
Welcome to the game. The game of Influence – of spotting the observable personality type clues of others … and then using that information to craft an approach most likely to build rapport, connection, and ultimately convey information in ways the other person is most likely to hear, understand and relate to.
But, even knowing what I knew, it took everything I had to implement the technique. And yet, it clearly worked: Juan had opened up to me and was speaking in a free-flowing and natural way. I’d not filled the awkward silence with nervous chatter. I’d respected his style and the reward was him feeling at ease and sharing insights and ideas with me far beyond what I originally expected.
Personality Type Clues: The Introvert Pause
从那时起，我就和我的内向者们一起静静地坐着 千百次 并一直得到回报。内向的人总是有更多的话要说，只要你在谈话中留有余地，让他们按照自己的方式去说。
The TypeCoach Approach: Reading Personality Type Clues
如果你想学习我们教授的其他技巧，我从过去 20 年培训销售人员和其他需要影响周围人的人的经验中汲取了精华，并在这一系列文章中与你分享。这些文章互为基础，因此我建议按顺序阅读。
- 2-48 小时规则
- 如何与为什么
- 关系与逻辑
- 闭合光谱
- 传统主义者
- 体验者
- 构思者
- 理想主义者
- 情景 - 测试您的技能
You also might be interested in the 类型教练影响力计划, where you can learn about personality type clues from a TypeCoach certified master coach.
对于那些想知道胡安发生了什么事的人来说，我们确实与他的领导团队建立了成功的合作关系。我们签约一两周后，他们就把公司卖了，我们再也没有合作过。啊，创业历程的乐趣。
4 Comments
Great article! For an extrovert, that ‘Introvert Pause’ can be brutal but as you pointed out – well worth it in the end. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for you to have this conversation. I can see all those ‘thought bubbles’ around your head!
So true and so hard to implement as an extrovert but so worth the effort. One of reasons that the TypeCoach experience has such a transformational impact on 1:1 and team effectiveness.
I work with a large auto manufacturing company. As you might guess, there are many introverts attracted to this work and this is born out by the number that know their type. I have learned to count AND to practice box breathing. I was in a meeting with the head of engineering, ISTJ, one level down from the president, presenting information on a program they asked me to design. I asked questions and paused. I let him collect his thoughts. We went from my doing 2 days of training to 11 days! I never saw that coming!
What an awesome story Rob. I was holding my breath right along with you as I was reading. And this is a hard learned lesson for all of us extroverts – I had to learn it early in my career and instinctively saw it even before I got personality type training. And it’s a lesson I keep relearning all the time!