It’s always fun to learn how people define the same words differently based on their personality type. When Judgers commit and say, “I’ll get that to you by Friday,” it often means something entirely different than when a Perceiver uses the exact same phrase. When we ask participants in our workshops to share what they hear when people say “by Friday” it usually breaks down along these lines:
Judgers
- I’m expecting it before Friday, so Thursday afternoon/evening.
- Mid-morning on Friday I expect to get it… and I have stuff lined up to send out as soon as I do.
- Later in the afternoon is a disappointment, but still acceptable.
Perceivers
- I’m expecting it by 4:59 PM on Friday.
- Anytime before 11:59 PM on Friday – hey, it’s still Friday!
- Monday morning works – because I wasn’t going to do anything with it over the weekend, anyway!
Naturally, this is a recipe for problems and it’s easy to see why trust issues can emerge when there is a fundamental difference to the point where we define commonly used words differently. The advice to avoid this is quite simple: when discussing timelines and deadlines, it is important to reach a sufficient level of clarity before reaching an agreement. Assuming the person with whom you’re working meets their deadlines, and be clear about what that deadline is.
“Can I have that before Noon on Friday?”
Instead of leaving room for interpretation with “I’ll get that to you by Friday,” try saying something like: “Can I have that before Noon on Friday?” This ensures everyone is on the same page. If you’re curious to learn what happens when NO deadline is discussed, you’ll want to check out the post: “From now until the end of time…”
